HAPPY FATHER’S DAY
(click here for PART 2 on Wardy Joubert III)
i’ve been going through the sturm und drang of now times, and today being Father’s Day, and the fact that everyone else can be men except for actual natural-born MEN with actual natural-born penises, i’m going to colonize men, too. and thus i’m going to appropriate the one day / the one thing men have left, and i’m going to further take away and gentrify Father’s Day, rendering it as meaningless a token as anything else in america, i’m using today as a perfect time to announce that i’m starting a Men’s Movement since they won’t.
This is the late Wardy Joubert III above.
the bored soul sucking internet people found him posthumously, and discovered something they knew not what to do with. / so like all miracles of life in this world, they casually turned him into a covid meme joke.
and then some ace reporter asshole at vice, blank with no story ideas, found himself wanking off to one of Wardy Joubert’s porn videos one afternoon after the Matlock Marathon was over and was star struck–EUREKA–write about the one you want to ravage your flat vicey ass!
so he looked into his actual identity and wrote about him with his Christian name twice, in two (2) different “What’s this really about?” articles, to absolutely ensure this “Daddy Doing Porn to Pay the Mortgage” thing will follow Wardy Joubert’s son, daughter and family for as long as there’s a fucking internet.
i can do nothing about that.
but i wouldn’t let that happen to my own father, so as one of Wardy Joubert’s True Wives on the low, i will use my artist writer girl magic and do my part in snatching back Wardy’s more complicated hot and sweaty story and image, and re-calibrate the power of his body at this quite important time in humanity’s story.
because in doing so i will also remind or show you all the imagination nastiness love and complexities you have let wither and die in yourselves as you’ve allowed yourselves to be remade by this medium that trains you each to go for the okey-doke… the thumbs up…pussy likes… numbers… followers… and made you each into pussies who let us all take everything from you that you had left. your jobs your dreams your ideas your hard ons your garages your sundays your free time your blow jobs your fantasies your desires your children your money your one fucking day of the year that you’re at least supposed to get something quickly purchased on the internet where it said generically antiseptically: “Gifts for Dad.”
this is just an introduction to My New Men’s Movement and to let you know that i will be using King Daddy’s picture, without pixelation, whenever i want to signify that all you Social Justice Warriors can go fuck yourselves because your childish attachment to symbolic destruction and divisiveness between people when this is all a fucking CLASS issue you bored narcissistic bougie fucks is actually dangerous and distracting from how we’re all niggers now / you all are actually undermining ANYONE’s struggle for empowerment, including and especially your own.
i have three actual true friends left, no career, no one left to be a fucking “well-behaved” role model to, and no one’s dick left to suck to tell the truth as i see it on the low so you try and cancel me i will fucking show up at your house and pretend i’m one of your many deliveries because you won’t leave the house and i will fucking knock on your door, snort a palm full of ground black pepper, and SNEEZE on you when you open the door a crack to claw outside the door for your shit. / i will stand there and watch you melt and dissolve like those biodegradable packing peanuts that you save in the garage as if you ever send anything to anyone anyhow.
what’s that? oh. it’s for the returns. fuck you and go out and try on a pair of shoes in person and live dangerously.
Halt!
today’s not the day to write more. / James is home so today i’m home with my Daddy.
i’ll be back soon.
Happy Father’s Day. To my Main Original Daddy, too: Rafael Lopez Sanchez in Amherst, Massachusetts. / Tell him for me, would you?…
Happy Father’s Day to Wolf and Daddy RD Blakeslee at Wolfstreet.com. They both fan the flames and watch over me.
Happy Father’s Day to the DJs with what i’m sure are quite beautiful, lovely, gorgeous, fabulous, and the most mesmeric penises in the world who put up with me and my gushy leaky sticky messy in-your-face/sting-your-eye Love at KPOO (.com), 89.5FM: Mr Terry Collins; Mr Jerome “JJ on d Radio”; Larry “Lawrence” Chew “Saturday Mornings In Real Time w/ Lawrence Chew,” the New Soul Train; Mixmaster DJ-X1, my Drummer; DJ Lamont “Fingersnaps Salon” my new teacher in all This Art Shamanism; Kay-Beezy Fa Sheezy “Rap Snacks Radio”; Mr. Ford “Soul Explosion”; DJ McShmormac “Gramaphony Baloney”; new father, Khafre Jay; and Marcus “Gospel Caravan.”
(Kay-Beezy Fa Sheezy of RAP SNACKS RADIO*, i wrote all this to your show, you filling in for my original drummer, DJ X1** during his BOMB BAY MIX slot today… well done, my new drummer! well done! you give me COURAGE)…
And Happy Father’s Day to my most beloved NEW Daddies, Corky Engel and Basul Parik!
Happy Father’s Day. / May you all have raging hard-ons today at some point for any reason whatsoever i don’t care because hard and happy FEED ME! penises are fucking great. Get a good one and go poke at things and if you can’t find any willing friends to appreciate what you can do, go hang tshirts, towels, or bicycle tires off it and be proud like i was when i could foist my DD tits onto Corky and Basul’s old counter and rest my chin comfortably within the severe FUCK YEAH cleavage. / they got a new counter so i must find new places upon which i can foist my big titties so i can slyly glance down at them while talking to other people.
the second best thing about having your own titties is that you can look at them all the time without having to take mental pictures to enjoy later. / the first best thing, of course, is that they are your titties and you can do whatever you want to them whenever you want. / even in public you’d get money thrust at you, as i have whenever i’ve forgotten i’m outside, like the other day at 24th/potrero.
whereas if men even thought about scratching their balls now, they’d be arrested for having hands.
okay there. that’s the premise of My Men’s Movement. / and it’s NSFP: Not Safe for Pussies.
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XXX
(CLICK HERE FOR PART 2 ON WARDY JOUBERT III)
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NOTES:
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* Kay-Beezy Fa Sheezy’s RAP SNACKS RADIO shows KPOO.com or KPOO 89.5 FM:
Friday 6-10pm (415 Fillmore Time Zone) Friday nights, or…
https://www.mixcloud.com/RapSnacksRadio/stream/
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** DJ-X1 MY ORIGINAL DRUMMER’s 3 shows are on KPOO.com or KPOO, 89.5 FM:
1) LOVE ZONE (i used to stay up to jerk off to his Love Zones…they were nasty/ but he also does gritty nasty Reggae once a month): SATURDAY 2AM-7AM (415 Fillmore Time Zone)
2) SOUL OF R&B: SATURDAY 7-10PM (415 Fillmore Time Zone)
3) THE BOMB BAY MIX: SUNDAY 3-7PM (415 Fillmore Time Zone)
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