https://recordscratchradio.substack.com/p/that-bitch-is-dead
if you subscribe to my substack and read the email versions instead of the ever-changing online version, this(revised essay) link above is going to be the last thing i post on my substack for awhile. i will probably post a link to what i’m writing on this site.
things are about to get much more… exposing… and i don’t want to make it too easy for accidental clicks. at this point i’m becoming more like the porn we used to find under someone’s bed, hidden in the rafters, in the walls, between the mattress and box spring, or in my favorite case… in a neatly-bundled stack by the curb and i beat the trash men to the motherlode and become the perv i am today.
more later… i’m at ten times the place i was when i first went cross country on a motorcycle a week after learning how to ride it. this isn’t for gen pop.
also letting you know that i started compiling the pre-sale names of ENDCAT because now i know what i’m writing. i was having a rough week over James and I got Gatling gun splattered with …so much, i called my Father in the middle of the night to make sure i wasn’t going insane.
he listened over an hour in the middle of the night where He is, and i told him everything i remembered and saw and how i understood it all now that i was older…
he said nothing.
he was fixing things with a screwdriver while listening to me go on and on and worse than i do to Jeffrey Hicken when he’s just sitting on the banks watching my consciousness go by, as he says when all he’s gotta do is show up every once in a while and say, “you go, girl… uh huh…”
first He says, “you don’t want to be vulnerable. that’s no good.”
and then after an hour and a half or so, He says, “my phone is dying and i have to go walk to my car to find a screw i remember putting in the box.”
i said, “but i’m scared. it could all backfire badly on me like in new york.”
My beloved Pops said, “there is danger everywhere. life is dangerous.”
and that’s why i reminded my Mother of my Father.
but what made me The Woman I suddenly just became now, is that he listened, said he had to go, and that he wanted to read what i wrote. he said, “take your time. I want to read it.”
i was so tired all the next day because i was taken over by ideas and connections beyond me. this is what art is about for me. art is like a cattle prod as hitachi magic wand but natural. i’m excited. titillated. i’ve had myself furiously ever since.
it’s going to get nasty. for grown folks only.
i told my Pops i had to do this like A Woman. not like a Man.
The Art of the Mind Fuck… to Heal.
more later. I’m phasing out of my August and getting to work in September. Starting the “All Witnesses Eventually Die” MegaZine and will handwrite all the labels i pre-sold.
I’m going to quit Square because they want bio crap and online everything is too complicated and life’s so short and shorter every minute. I don’t care how many “sales” i lose by only taking checks or cash. i just… can’t play at this all… anymore.
I saw the Elliot Eli Jackson channeler and he said Yeshua got killed because He wouldn’t shut up.
Mr Elliot said it as if Yeshua should’ve hushed. Well, if He was married to Mary Magdalen as he said, then if He got quiet to save his hide, He’d never be able to truly pleasure His Wife ever again. He’d know He’d been a pussy. you fuck differently when you’re willing to take the hits for Romance.
Defiance is hot. Fuckable.
That’s where We’re going next.
But i have to roll around in my own pink for awhile before i show Kitty Porn.
That’s what started all this in the first place.
x
Kitten
Kamala Lopez hugging lizard people is my North Star