AND JIMMY CRACK CORN I DON’T CARE
Aug 26, 2025
so i went to the court today for the restraining orders i’d filed and lost and i’m blue about what i saw but i’m also touched by what i saw and i’m realizing America’s not coming back to the way it ever was it’s over and must come up with something new for the undergrounds that’ll be emerging wherever i am. and that means that i must publicly admit how i feel about today’s rulings before i wake and think better of it just because how the main narrative needs to understand me.
so i was hung by my reticence to file and because i look like a racist pig who doesn’t want people to come here on greed cards and hoard rent control apartments for 20 years to make enough to buy homes and cars, and i’m racist because i’m trapped because the world is whoring out American real estate and fucking us little shmucks over so their values can go up. the financialization and globalization of everything has made us all whooers and i’m finally realizing i’m not clean if i hold back what i really think because i set my own traps because i wrote scary letters to defend myself by looking scary because that’s how Gen X does it if it can’t be talked out. but it was used against me today in court and i wasn’t even mad. i laughed at myself.
so i just wanted to start with my dick credentials. if you think i should cheer on foreigners of ANY class coming over to take away what few apartments us low class have on the bottom, you’re insane. i used to welcome everyone yeah! room for EVERYONE! until they started to trying to get ME out. nah. i can’t go for that, noooo… to quote those two singers. too tired to think of their names. like starsky and hutch of 70s music did sarah smile.
anyhow…
the good part is that going through with this in court, because i’d wanted to kill it all, but figured go through with it as an experience. let’s see their world!
so what i’m learning is that narrative ONE narrative rules law. okay maybe two elsewhere. in san francisco it is one.
and after watching Simone Bailey play victim— i’d actually lose my place and get caught up in the performance. and i did the same with Sandra, Janaina, Alex Pereira Lazzari, and Hector Torres. he’s like their little … those herding dogs. and i mean it in a good way.
yes, i think they are a tribal “fuck you and America” family out to take advantage and use what they can and expand. it’s human. but what was cool about new folks from foreign lands before was that they came to be a part of the party and not crush and be all fuck you.
but that’s the WORLD now, right?
anyhow, fuck that. right now i feel human and i’m glad that case is over. more to come. that was warm up. i’m trying to learn the system and how people in it THINK.
so the Pereiras, i believe led by Hector Torres, played a kind of possum. it was actually brilliant. i’ll critique it like a play.
they came in wearing Brazilian folk dresses and i found it charming and lovely to see the women dolled up. and even though they casually lied and were able to use me against me, i was …charmed. really. Hector Torres knew that world and played the “we’re just working immigrants” thing brilliantly and one sister fluent in english even feigned ignorance and used an interpreter.
but i kind of didn’t mind.
i wasn’t going to use the restraining order to call the police anyway. i just wanted them to leave me alone and i think i’ll get that. even though it cost me seeing how another neighbor has turned against me.
but Leo Mondragon was always a two faced bitch who gossips about everyone. Leo Mondragon across the street (his wife left him and today i called her at work and said “your husband is a pussy i’ll never try and push you back together again i promise!”) and Rudy San Juan next door at 1377 hampshire i think, they call Sandra Pereira “Itchy” because she scratches her crotch a lot in public while wearing leggings. They used to laugh about it and now they’ve lied on me and it breaks my heart that Leo Mondragon made up stuff and i saw his kids grow up.
but i’m actually okay.
because i saw how much Alex Lazzari loves his mom and he spoke up to lie and say she works 7 to 7 and is finally home (now that they’re independently weathly). he was saying she (used to) work hard because she DID.
so the one i found most dull boring and uninteresting i’ve seen Alex Lazzari open up because of his girlfriend’s love, Bella.
life is complicated. underneath some shitty fucking stories are some amazing ones.
i also don’t mind that i lost because Hector Torres and Janaina Pereira may be lying scam artists who twist truths BUT they called 911 on James as he lay dying face down all bloody on the floor so i’d never have them hauled off to jail like i was.
i just wanted to finally be left alone to grieve and live without being threatened or yelled at just throwing out the trash for once.
Now that James is dead and the bell jar is broken and i’m butt up against humanity, i see how simplistic ugly and harsh people think the world is and make it that way.
i tell this complicated story and my ability to see the beauty outside of even the common ugliness because …well… that’s life, ain’t it?
x